BrianB
Posts: 1
Joined: 21.Jun.2004
From: Michigan
Status: offline
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Thomas,
Nice article, but it would have better impact if it werenÆt for the grammatical, punctuation, and usage errors.
First sentence: ôàmaterial theyÆve received in 1997àö They received something in 1997; theyÆve received something since 1997.
First bullet: "It is a good clean up update, but I won't say it is major. It doesn't all of a sudden make them a competitor to CheckPoint (http://www.infoworld.com/article/04/05/03/HNisaserver_1.html) [BTW -- this quote is our leader for 'clueless analyst comment of the year')
Two errors. There is no closing quote, and the name of the product is ôCheck Point,ö not ôCheckPoint.ö
Third bullet: Ditto. Check Point, not Checkpoint.
Fifth bullet: This is the only bullet with a period. It should be consistent in punctuation with all your other bullets.
Sentence following bullets: ôàmaterial theyÆve received in 1997àö They received something in 1997; theyÆve received something since 1997.
Next paragraph: ôpabulumö is ôa substance that gives nourishment; foodö; ôpablumö is ôtrite, insipid, or simplistic writing, speech, or conceptualization.ö Here you need the word ôpablum.ö
Defense in Depth section, 4th paragraph: the word Rings is written in quotes and capitalized. There is no need for it to be in upper case.
Defense in Depth section, 10th paragraph: ôIf the robber flies past the Fedàö In all other instances you wrote ôFeds.ö Should be consistent. ôFedö usually refers to the Federal Reserve Board.
ôStateö should not be upper case.
ôBankö should not be upper case.
Defense in Depth section, 11th paragraph, first sentence: Comma required after the word ôprotected.ö
Defense in Depth section, 14th paragraph, first sentence: ôàput itÆs most hardenedàö The contraction ôitÆsö stands for ôit is.ö ItÆs not the possessive of the pronoun ôit.ö
Defense in Depth section, 17th paragraph, you first use the abbreviation ôASICö without definition. Even though you define it later in the article, you should define it on first use.
Same paragraph: You write ôX, Y, and Zö. Standard American English rules of punctuation require the period inside the quote, so it should be written as ôX, Y, and Z.ö
Next paragraph: same error as above.
Defense in Depth section, 23rd paragraph: you write, æ"I wouldnÆt be comfortable without having a PIX or Checkpoint in front of the ISA firewall",Æ Same error as above. Should be written "I wouldnÆt be comfortable without having a PIX or Checkpoint in front of the ISA firewall,"
Also, ôCheck Point,ö not ôCheckPoint.ö
OK, I'm tired of typing, and I see over 20 additional errors past this point. Let me know if you'd like me to reply with more.
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